Breaking Up With Facebook

facebook heartDear WordPress,

You have ruined Facebook for me. Someone had to do it.

To be honest, I only started on Facebook to keep an eye on my teenage children. It didn’t really work. They were soon off to other social media platforms. I remained.

Do you ever get those 2 page typed Christmas letters ? You know the ones. They extol the annual family achievements: the child who got a full paid scholarship to an Ivy league college; the daughter who won a county pageant, the toddler whose early IQ score placed him directly into 2nd grade; the son who mastered the science fair just as his hockey team was headed to the state championship. christmas-letter-examples

Or maybe it was the husband who was promoted to godlike status in his company, made all the right investments to allow for the 2nd timeshare, this time in Cancun. Or the wife, on break from her rewarding career to have her second set of twins after winning the Pillsbury Bake-Off.

Reading this stuff was exhausting. I usually saved them until after the holiday, when I had more energy.

This is what Facebook was becoming for me. It was like getting those Christmas letters.

Everyday. With pictures.

Recent studies claim that being involved in Facebook has contributed to depression.

No kidding. Just ask someone surrounded by 7 ft. snow piles how they feel about getting pictures of a family frolicking on a beach in Hawaii.  In February. wordpress

And along came WordPress, where one could express thoughts and feelings; share memories and opinions; talk about things that matter, things that may endure.

A place where people actually read your words, and offer comments in return. A place where strangers get to know you in a way that many friends do not.

Maybe you use your real name. Maybe you choose anonymity.

It doesn’t really make much difference. Your heart is transparent. Your creativity leaves its own mark.

What a concept.  keyboard thanks

I am so grateful to have found you.


Van by the River

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39 Responses to Breaking Up With Facebook

  1. Victo Dolore says:

    AMEN and hallelujah! 🙂

  2. Trish says:

    OMG…I LOVE it!!!

  3. megdekorne says:

    Van , you’re amazing creativity and friendship has left an endearing mark on me , you touch me deeply with your compassionately beautiful soul …thank you . love and blessings always xxx meg

    • Wow, Meg, that is an amazing compliment. You so eloquently illustrate my point. One’s words, honestly expressed, can give you a peak into their very spirit. And that is a beautiful thing to share. Thanks so much, Meg, for your words, and your friendship. I am blessed. xoxox Van

  4. LadyPinkRose says:

    Van, I do NOT like FB and rarely go there. I have some family who communicate via FB which irks me, always wanting others to see their infinite posts yet do not reciprocate in kind to my work. I too am SO grateful to WP where I truly have found kindred souls who care, who interact, who TALK to me, and who accept me. I LOVE the way I can develop relationships here, show my work here, and just know I am in a community who is not all about ME ME ME. Same page as you, my friend. Feels good, does it not? Love, Amy

    • Thanks so much, dear Amy. Happy to join you on that page. So many kindred spirits in this community, you express it so well. We live far from family, and the FB pictures we share are sweet, but that’s where it ends for me. Thanks for sharing. Hugs back to you. ☺ Van

  5. Sorry you’ve had a rocky relationship with Facebook. I’m still there – it keeps me connected to faraway family and friends. But I’m here too Van, and so glad to have met you online! ❤
    Diana xo

  6. writerinsoul says:

    I’m with you, Sister! WordPress is where it’s AT. I socially participate here *far and away* more than anywhere else on line. There’s depth here, and authenticity and levels of kindness and decency that caught me unawares. Glad you’re here.

    • It really has been a welcome surprise to me, Colette. I wasn’t sure what to expect when I started, but it has become more than I ever imagined. So glad to be here, and meet folks like you. Thanks. ☺ Van

  7. LaVagabonde says:

    Good for you, Van. I deleted (not just deactivated – DELETED forever) my FB account almost 3 years ago, right about the time I started my blog. Never looked back. There’s so much talk about people needing a social media presence in order to be an effective blogger. I totally disagree. You need to be someone who actually reads and interacts and isn’t just there to fulfill a narcissistic need for attention. The analogy with the Christmas letters is so spot on. Congrats. 😀

    • Thanks, Julie. WP has just been so much more fulfilling. For some of the young folks in my life, Facebook has actually been painful. So many more stories to be told……. Van

      • LaVagabonde says:

        So many people think that Facebook is necessary nowadays and that leaving means that you’ll lose touch with people. But we lived without it before and if people can’t take the time to send an email, even just a short hello, every once in a while, then are they really worth keeping in your life? Especially if it’s causing harm. I now have people who write me letters, because that’s my preferred mode of correspondence…yes, letters. And I really don’t miss the others who were on my FB “friends” list.

      • I love getting letters, it’s a lost art. I have gotten FB friend requests from people I haven’t seen or heard from for decades…curiosity seekers mostly. I can certainly live without that. ☺ Van

  8. Phyllis says:

    Dear Van, I give you positive strokes for your commitment to a cleaner, simpler connection. I still use my ‘former teacher’ status to follow my student exes as they grow their lives and families. The mom in me gets sideline gratification or sends positive vibes when they struggle. And my business does get some growth through FB. As a gossip venue or time-killer, NO!

  9. Oh, I so agree! Someday too I’ll be FB free. Sweet.

  10. C.E.Robinson says:

    Van, love this post. FB for me is just as you described it. I’m still there to mostly make contact with grown-up grand girls, and to download their pics. My head hurts seeing all the other stuff. Now for WP, agree with the relief to be connected with like people/ bloggers who become friends. WP has been the best experience for me too! Christine

    • So nice to hear from you, Christine ! You were one of the first who made this all so enjoyable. Your support and encouragement in the early days was special. I’ll be forever grateful. xoxox Van

      • C.E.Robinson says:

        So glad that we became and stayed blogger friends! Your support has helped me “chug along” for the past 10 months of this fast learning blogging experience! Thank you!

      • My pleasure. I’ve missed your posts lately, Christine. Assume that you are working on other projects ?? “Chug On ” ! Van

      • C.E.Robinson says:

        Van, thanks for noticing my absence. I’ve had major PC computer issues for a month now, so I finally gave up on PCs and bought an Apple iMac. Should arrive Friday and I’ll be back on track blogging in a week. Those books need work too. Christine

      • Ah…the technology !! Maybe the downtime will have provided lots of fresh ideas. Van

  11. As much as I despise Facebook, and there really are no words for the vastness of my loathing, that’s how much I love Instagram. Talk about your kindred spirits. WordPress too has been a wonderful introduction to amazing people all over the world.

  12. I have an old post on FB. Ha ha ha. Never my thing. And I just don’t have time for any other platform other than WPress.

    “talk about things that matter, things that may endure.” No kidding.

    A round of applause for you.

  13. I was just saying something like this today to a friend, a few hours ago. So funny. I was explaining why I had not gotten her message on facebook from a few weeks ago. I told I liked wordpress better because it was more intelligent and creative. You can connect with people here in a much more meaningful way.
    I am so tired of hearing the minute by minute , play by plays on face book and also the stupid jokes, for god’s sake . some are so bad. There is very little really meaningful human connection. It is more like childish gossip and I detest gossip.

  14. lbeth1950 says:

    Oh, I was going to write this! I love my wordpress friends. I wish I could see them it. It is never a contest. We share. Everybody supports and cares. It is the family we all made. Thanks for expressing It so beautifully. There Is room for everyone to share in the joy of creativity with no competition, just support. Thanks to all of you, dear friends.

  15. Ellen Hawley says:

    The first time I ever read Facebook, I saw a message that said, “I’m eating broccoli,” and most messages since then have been about as thrilling. I make an exception for a few friends with a sense of humor and the occasional petition on a subject I feel passionate about. (Okay, there are lots of those.) But still, overall? Bleah. I hardly ever read it. There are only just so many hours in a day, and I can’t see throwing them into that particular bottomless pit.

    • That’s why I don’t Tweet as well. Updates in very few characters. “eating broccoli” followed by “passing gas” ?? No, thanks. I find that most of those I care about are backing away lately. Except for photos of distant family, it has lost its usefulness. Thanks for chiming in, Ellen. ☺

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