It will be somewhere in my obituary. “She died trying to redeem a coupon”.
The body ages; the mind refuses to recognize its limitations.
It happens to me all the time. I never learn.
The latest involves a $1. off coupon for a case of spring water.
It was a pretty typical morning. I like to walk early now that warmer weather has arrived. I often end up somewhere near a farmer’s market, mall, grocery or big box store, etc. and duck in to pick up an item or two before heading home.
This time, I was packing a coupon that was to expire the same day.. bonus pack, 38 half- liter bottles of my favorite water. There were 2 cases left, both on the very bottom shelf. I was pushing one of those smaller carts, with a high basket.
I did pause for a few seconds. Do I call home for help ? This was a great item, already on sale; the coupon just sweetened the deal. Would there be any left if I didn’t take it now ? Did I mention that I hate rain checks ??
I knew it would be heavy, I’ve done it before. I’m in pretty good shape. Strike 1.
I am cheap. This was a good deal. I needed the water. Strike 2.
It might take a slight twisting motion. But, if I just get it wedged into this basket, I can scan it with one of those check-out wands, so I’ll only have to lift it once more to get it into my car. Strike 3.
Two days later, I am sitting here on a heated, vibrating cushion; unable to find a comfortable sleep position, nursing a strained back muscle, sucking down Doan’s Pills and chasing them with some of that f#*!*#* water. You’re Out.
It is sadly not my first coupon-related injury. No doubt, it will not be my last.
Someone needs to take away my scissors.