Personal Loan

“I need $200.” Mike thought it might be drug money, but Bobby was a friend, trying to clean up his act. It was just a loan.

They worked the same summer job, for very different reasons.!00 Word Challenge

Bobby’s wealthy family insisted; he had exhausted their support and resources.  Mike’s family struggled; he was saving for college expenses.

By September, Mike was embarrassed to ask, but he needed the cash.

At the dorm, he met Bobby’s roommate, visibly shaken.

“He’s in a coma at County Hospital, they’re not sure ….”

Reported as accidental, he had driven headfirst into a stone wall.

100 Word Challenge for Grown Ups – Week#159

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19 Responses to Personal Loan

  1. Erika Kind says:

    Very good accomplished. What a challenge to use exactly 100 words.

  2. C.E.Robinson says:

    Van, nice job writing this. A powerful 100 words! The hidden message very clear! Christine

  3. I love how a whole story can be told in 100 words. The story is familiar, isn’t it. Nicely done.

  4. Reads like a punch to the gut. Well done.

  5. ninamishkin says:

    You’re sure very good at this 100-word challenge, Van. Keep up the good work. Maybe when you have enough of them, a small book collecting them all between covers?

    • I’ve just scratched the surface with this short format, but it seems to suit me. It’s a fun challenge to see how much you can cut out and still relay a message. Thanks, Nina.

  6. lbeth1950 says:

    Hooked then stunned me!

  7. megdekorne says:

    I wish I could edit like you Van ….I get confused in my own story writing so often that I nearly give up ! … Thanks for the encouragement this post gives me , always such fine writing you create …love , megxxx

    • It’s been my first few tries at fiction, Meg, and I love the 100 word challenge. Just keep cutting back till you get to the meat of the story. Surprised how much you can say in so few words. Thanks. ☺

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