For most of my life, it is the way I have presented to the world.

Long hair, pulled back into a pony tail.

Age 5

Age 5

It started very young.

My older sister and I shared an evening ritual with my grandmother.

She would take out our hair tie, and brush out whatever tangles had evolved during our busy day.

When we lost her, that loving gesture stopped. Abruptly. My mother didn’t have the patience.

She took us to the local beauty school and had our hair cropped into a pixie cut. Hideous.

I was 6 years old. And I never trusted a hair stylist again. Even into adulthood, I’d have a minor anxiety attack at the thought of getting my hair cut.

It didn’t just change our look, it changed our identity, and pointed out what would become many differences in the way my mother was to raise us.

I kept my hair short for all the years until I left home. And then…it grew. I was surprised at how long it grew. My husband made it clear that he, like many men, preferred long hair.


October 2014

We were just friends at the time, but somehow, I took his opinion to heart.

When I got talked into a different style, I always had regrets, and I always grew it back long.

Maybe, the style suited my face.

Maybe, it was easy and convenient.

And maybe, it was a throwback to a particularly sweet time in my childhood.

Still wearing that ponytail.

This entry was posted in Beauty, Childhood, Family and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

70 Responses to Ponytail

  1. C.E.Robinson says:

    Keep the ponytail, Van! It looks great! If I could only grow my hair long! (sigh) Chryssa

  2. Ann Koplow says:

    Yay for you and your ponytail!

  3. Jim says:

    yeh, that pixie thing was bad back in the day. the pony works, mucher betterer

  4. Angie Mc says:

    I pony too! Mine is a bit shorter now but a pony makes me happy. Love the pics, Van! So glad I stopped by today…and funny, I just posted about, in part, short hair disaster of my youth 😀

  5. dyane says:

    My grandmother actually used to cut my hair – we were very, very close. Still, I’m surprised I trusted her to cut it!! I’m truly sorry you had that pixie cut thrust upon you at the tender age of six….I would find that to be so deeply upsetting as someone who loved having long hair. I’m glad you have your long hair and wear that ponytail! You’re my very own “My Pretty Pony”….can I blame that on my nasty headcold? 🙂

  6. Best that we were what suits us and what we love. I loved my pixie cut. You look serene and sporty with that pony tail. When I did have long hair, I did wear it in a pony tail off my neck. Just practical.

  7. I love it! wow fond memories of your grama so sweet! I am glad you went back to what you liked! Very nice!adorable picture

  8. Maybe it reminds you of your grandma and those loving moments she brushed your hair Van. I love this story. ❤
    Diana xo

    • I’m sure that has a lot to do with it. Happy times…long hair. Sad, traumatic times…chopped short. My grandmother had silky white hair that she kept in a bun. That might be in my future ??? Thanks, Diana ☺

  9. I often still do pony retails too. Boy, my sister and I have many stories to tell about the times we convinced each other we knew just how to cut one another’s hair. Uh oh. I mean even in our teens….

  10. A cute picture of little Van and such a sweet memory of your grandmother’s ritual. I like long hair too. It’s easier…and you’re right, the husbands like it. A win-win. 🙂

    • I just saw a news feature here about the man bun, and wearing hair pulled too tight that is leading to baldness issues. Have to loosen things up a bit. Thanks, Diana.❤️ (and yes, he is always sad when I talk about cutting it short…usually on a hot summer night ).

  11. Sue Vincent says:

    I like my hair short… but I like it long too and have been growing it for a while. You can barely tell… the longer it gets, the more it curls and looks short… 😉

  12. I’m with your husband

  13. Erika Kind says:

    It is funny, I think I had all lengths of hair form one inch to down to my bum. At times I got so tired of my long hair that I cut it shorter. Then again I started again to let it grow, which takes long with my hair…

  14. LaVagabonde says:

    A timeless look. You’ve got beautiful hair. I’ve never looked good in ponytails, unfortunately. I prefer braids. 😀

  15. gh0stpupp3t says:

    I have really short hair right now but I did have a ponytail. 🙂

  16. gh0stpupp3t says:

    I have a pixi cut almost. I am going to update my about me page. 🙂

  17. megdekorne says:

    From one ponytail to another …such a delightful post Van ! Thank you dear friend for bringing me joy this cool evening . Love and hugs , megxxx

  18. Interesting and astute of you, V, that the hairstyle and maintenance encouraged (or imposed) on you reflected the way you were cared for and affected your identity. It’s really amazing how much our hair determines our look and all the choices women have to play with that (tires me just to think about). 😛

  19. I think it’s true that men prefer long hair, although shorter styles suit certain faces. I once cut my bangs really short…my mother was quite upset with me. I had a pixie once too. When I was in my 20’s I recall saying that once women hit a certain age (perhaps over 45) they shouldn’t wear their hair long because it looks like they’re trying to look young, so when I was in my 40’s I kept my hair shorter, but now in my mid-50’s it’s below my shoulders and I love it!

    • The age thing is something my husband noticed and used to talk about, almost like it was a requirement to go short for women at some point. I did in my 40’s also…it didn’t last. I found it to be more maintenance that way. Back to the ponytail. ☺

  20. Darling pic of you when you were little!

  21. markbialczak says:

    You found your look at stuck with it, Van. And it’s quite fetching, I will add. 🙂

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