Making the Coffee

It’s a simple ritual. Fill pot with water. Insert paper filter. Measure coffee grounds.

coffee couple

1950’s Vintage Ad

It doesn’t take a team of two. Yet, somehow, it does.

Since my husband retired, we have been setting up the coffee pot for the next morning brew together.

He stands some 7 inches taller than I, and sees the water level in the clear glass pot much differently.

I have found the perfect level of coffee grains, scooped to a slight mound. He never quite adds enough to my taste.

If  we forget, or one of us retires early, the other preps the coffee alone. It is never quite as good.

In a recent post, I wrote about a potential health scare for him, mentioned a cytology report. It was negative for cancer.


There will be some follow-up procedures, CT scans, etc., but the threat is so greatly reduced.

We will lose each other one day. Just not right now.

And we will focus on the small things.

Like making coffee.


This entry was posted in Family, Food, Health Issues and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

73 Responses to Making the Coffee

  1. Sue Vincent says:

    It is those small things that somehow matter the most… and by sharing those, we work so well together when the bigger things appear. x

  2. It’s funny how these things become rituals with out noticing,

  3. Ann Koplow says:

    I’m so relieved to read this post!

  4. Lovely post! I am so glad things are ok! I have been hoping all is well! I love this idea of making the coffee and being a team!

  5. dyane says:

    Beautifully written – puts things into perspective big-time.
    I’m so glad that your husband doesn’t have cancer.
    As a huge coffee fiend (Craig is too) I relate to the making of the coffee ritual. I currently take charge of it so I make it super-strong, which is a little more strong than he likes it.
    I like being in charge. 😉
    Once again, I’m very glad you got good news about your beloved, and sorry to miss that post. I’ve missed a ton of my friends’ posts last week and I don’t like that one bit!

    • Very sweet of you, Dyane, it all put a hold on my writing, at least until we got a bit of good news. I’m sure I missed a lot last week as well. Hugs to you. 💕

      • dyane says:

        I wanted to add that heart to my first comment, but I was using my Kindle to comment & couldn’t access the “special characters”emojis! Now I’m back on the laptop – hurrah – here’s a couple more for the road:💐💜

      • You’re a riot, Dyane, thanks again. We need all the hearts we can gather. 💕💕💕

  6. grandmalin says:

    Good news❤️ I love this little piece straight from the heart.

  7. Now this is a great post! Am so glad for you both! Share a cup of coffee and celebrate!

  8. Reading posts like this always reminds me to be thankful that I have a wonderful loving partner and the fact that he leave all the cupboard doors open in the kitchen when cooking dinner should never ever matter. Thanks for the reminder, Van, and I’m very pleased to hear that everything is Okay.

    • It’s so interesting in how many of those annoying little things that we all do, just pass by the wayside at the thought of losing someone so important.💕 Thanks, Hugh, and I too leave cupboard doors open when I cook…but I go in and out often. So ?? ☺☺☺

  9. LaVagabonde says:

    Oh Van, I’m so happy for you. May you have many years of making coffee together. 🙂

  10. Just Plain Ol' Vic says:

    I agree with the sentiment here, it is the small things that seems to be the most enjoyable and memorable.

  11. What a beautiful symbol of partnership. I’m so glad your husband got such encouraging results. I hope whatever is ailing him is easily and readily treated.

  12. So glad the results for you husband are encouraging Van! ❤ And isn't everything better when done together??? 😀
    Diana xo

  13. Phew. So glad to hear the test was negative. And what a sweet picture the two of you must make while brewing the perfect cup of morning coffee. 🙂

  14. George says:

    The simple things in life. It’s always the simple things, isn’t it. So happy and relieved everything came back good for the both of you, Van. Go have some coffee together..:)

  15. C.E.Robinson says:

    Van, it’s the small together things that are most memorable! Such good news about the medical scare. Keep the coffee brewing! Chryssa

  16. I am relieved to hear you husband is at least negative for cancer. I prep the coffee at our house mostly because I have a very particular water to coffee ratio that must be followed and my wife does not really care all that much. She makes it too weak for my taste.

    • Isn’t it amazing how a small variance in water or coffee grounds can make such a difference ? I’m with you on the strong stuff, John. Thanks. ☺ We are relieved as well. ❤️

  17. Tracey says:

    I’m so relieved for him and for you!! That is wonderful news. Hope things continue to turn up “negative” in a positive way. 🙂

    Love that you make the coffee together. That is the best stuff….

  18. amommasview says:

    I’m glad he is fine. And sometimes you get the most out of the so called little things. I love how you describe the way you guys make coffee together. Beautiful…

  19. Van, I just left a post for a younger friend who what the one and only mr right. I can only speak for me, most of my life until 10 years ago I quit drinking, dud of party, it had nothing to do with my husband loving me more or less. It may be true love or lust in the beginning. It takes almost a f/t job to keep the passion, not just in the sack. It’s the nano things you do together automatically. It’s also not the same without the other. We go from thongs in our 20’s ( glad they weren’t around for me) to granny panties over time, he’s not going to want to be together every money and that hot sex with multiple teens in the house how don’t like stop-dad and have dinner on the table. True love looks different on the outside to people and usually has nothing to do with reality.
    My granny got up a 4:30 AM so she could make fresh tea for his Thermos and fresh sandwich . She carried it the door, she handed him the lunch box and he gave her a peck. That’s all the emotion/love growing up. It’s hilarious now. I’m not getting up at 4:30.
    I’m chatty, under the knife in the morning.

    • I didn’t know about your surgery, M. Wishing you healing and quick recovery. ❤️ I do admire your granny’s devotion. I have to admit, he always made his own lunch the night prior. He was a shower/out the door kind of guy…at 5:30 a.m., I was half asleep as he said good bye for the day. ☺ Now, we share breakfast…it’s nice to start the day together. ☺☺

      • Hi Van
        I think the depression area and growing up poor helped mold who she was. Her first husband walked when my dad was a few months old. I was blessed by hearing who they barely got by. My grannies father died when she was nine. My parents didn’t let me get away with anything. I had strong rules you did not want to break. My grandmother was legally blind and wasn’t able to drive so I got a DL early. When I went to work, maybe 3 miles from more, I had to pay $8 a week for as and half of yearly insurance. People I new had money and no rules. I’m so glad they taught me reality not go to moms or daddy when you grown.
        They were amazing people.
        I ‘m dead asleep when he comes in to say goodbye in the morning with no idea if he has a lunch. Times are different and I don’t feel guilty at all.
        My surgery went well today. I’ll be writing again as soon as husband gets off my back about how long I’m using my are.
        I always get chatty with you. You have a good shoulder.

      • Always have a shoulder when you need it, M. Glad your surgery went well. My grandparents were surely affected by the Depression. I internalized so many of their lessons/values. None the worse for it, I think. Take care of that arm. Talk soon. 🛀 xoxo

      • Hi friend
        I had my first treatment today and left office a paper bag full of supplies for one month..I took before after photos so every one would get how serious Lyme can be. I don’t want to even go into the cost. Crazy.
        Take care.

      • Hope the treatment works for you, M. Fingers crossed. ☺

      • We’ll know in 12 months? I hope so to. Having a port is no phone.
        I can’t complain, I have a great live.
        Have a good evening.

  20. So glad you’re husband is clean for cancer! That will show you what real love it. When it’s no fun, if they can change your depends, he’s a keeper.
    M 🙂

  21. Thankful for those daily rituals of love that we share with our partners. Glad to hear your husband is healthy. We are blessed to have loving and loved husbands.

  22. lbeth1950 says:

    So relieved things look less scary. We do have our aye of working together, don’t we?

  23. Amy says:

    Glad to hear your husband is ok. I’m really enjoying my coffee pot ritual with my significant other, after 30 years of being married to a non-coffee drinker (among other things haha).

  24. inc says:

    Had to click. You had me at “coffee”. Thanks for sharing your story. Reminds me about one of the soldiers in my Army unit. She herself is not a coffee drinker, but told me about how she makes her husband’s coffee every morning. Thought that was really sweet, even though it’s just coffee. Knowing how to make your loved one’s coffee just how they like it = love.

  25. I generally get up first. Sometimes an hour or so earlier than Jackie. I prepare the cafetiere, boil the kettle, settle at my pc, and wait for her to finish the job 🙂

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