Spring

There is a curious irony about being depressed in Spring.

Flowers, butterflies, trees in bloom, fresh air, sunshine, warm temperatures.

spring-blooms

Photo courtesy. ctglobe.com

Growth, renewal, hope.

The profound sadness.

I’ve seen it happen too often, to people I love.

For myself and family, this is a time of conflicting emotions, all at surface level.

Every death, every family crisis, every challenge happened between April and June.

Every single one.

So, I get it.

While the rest of the world seems to rejoice at this time of year, we grieve. Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, graduations, weddings, patriotic holidays do not provide reason for much celebration.

And even here on WordPress. Have you noticed ?

So many prolific bloggers have faded of late. Many are taking a break, dealing with the important things in life.

Some face writers block, others are challenged with giving up the pursuit altogether.

It makes me wonder.

Are they feeling it too ?

It may be sad, but it’s real. And that’s ok.

Summer is right around the corner.

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This entry was posted in Depression, Family, Nature, Random Thoughts, Writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

68 Responses to Spring

  1. Ritu says:

    Beautiful blooms Van!

  2. I loved the picture! Reminds me of the tulip gardens of Ams 🙂 And you are right! If spring had been treating people bad, summer is almost here!

  3. Erika Kind says:

    I am sorry, that you and your family cannot enjoy the reawakening of nature. But soon June is over and I hope you can thrive then too, Van 💖

  4. LaVagabonde says:

    I have also noticed that it’s quieter here lately, and I’ve been one of those who are less active. In my case, I think it’s because I’ve been blogging for almost 4 years straight without a long break. Maybe it’s not due to being depressed, but rather by the need to get outside and enjoy the beautiful weather after such a dreary early spring.

  5. I’m blogging under private for now…going back to court trying to protect my kids.

  6. wgr56 says:

    Sorry you’re feeling the pain right now. Wish I could say it would get better, but when I consider that pain is all I have left, then it’s easier to accept. Better pain than nothing.

  7. Tough times, my dear. Hope you have a beautiful beginning to summer!

  8. Hugs to you Van. I know I’m not looking forward to my first Father’s Day since I lost my Dad. ❤
    Diana xo

  9. Hugs, Van. Yes, many of us are going through emotional upheavals right now, but we’ll all get past it. I don’t know why so many of us are having issues at the same time, but I seriously doubt the season of the year has anything to do with it. Let’s all be there for each other, and I promise, it will get better.

  10. Val Boyko says:

    Memories can bring joy, but also bring sadness for what is lost. May the memories live on in our hearts. In our daily lives find balance in the realization that everything is impermanent… And love is eternal. 💕

  11. My wish for you is that in time, your springs will become more and more alive…It’s okay ~ just acknowledge the feelings and allow them to flow. And I’ve found that the only way to get through it is to allow those who love you to carry you for a while. Here’s to a beautiful summer!

  12. writerinsoul says:

    I get it. I used to think of Spring/Summer as a panacea for all that is wrong. Then my worst losses also occurred in a similar time frame. Again, this year I grieve a new loss. My own personal approach is to give in to grief and ride it out, whenever it happens. I find I appreciate Spring/Summer then in a more subtle way.

    • When some of this stuff emerged long ago, I’d postpone the grief, in denial until winter, when seasonal affective issues complicated matters. Ugh. You’re right…that was so much worse. Thanks for understanding. 💛

  13. Thanks for sharing–you always take us to such a human place.

  14. I think we are feeling it, too. Time of crisis. Time of change. Sorry it’s such a difficult time for you.

  15. TanGental says:

    specifically April; son was born (good news) then bronchilitis (nearly killed him), pneumonia (ditto), glandular fever (just a bummer) – all in April. Meah, I wrote a poem suggesting we simply dumped it out of the calendar. I hear you Van. PS he’s still here, v healthy and would hate losing his birthday so I suppose I’ve just got to put up with it.

    • Oh, my. So glad he made it through all that. Similar for my parents in May. Live-in Grandmother died, Mom traumatized,shock/depression, first son born following May, Rh negative factor baby almost died during blood transfusion. It seems we are all pretty resilient beings. Thanks for sharing, Geoff.❤️

  16. Elyse says:

    And I thought it was just me. It’s been a rough spring for me, too. Illness and loss of my normal ability to deal with it. It seems to be passing, thankfully. I’m finding the funny again.

    Hope you do too, Van.

    PS: Do all families have weird death clusters? Mine all died on holidays: https://fiftyfourandahalf.com/2011/12/02/both-sides-now/. I hear now that there is a spring cluster. Jiminy!

    • That’s a new term for me…death clusters, but so appropriate. Sorry for all your holiday losses, that must suck the joy out of it for you. Thanks for the link, Elyse. Glad you get it, and it’s not just you/me. Oddly enough, I can always find the funny, somewhere.

  17. Thumbup says:

    Yes, I have noticed it.

  18. George says:

    Hope is always around the corner, Van..:)

  19. It has gotten extraordinarily quiet out there…

  20. lbeth1950 says:

    I am always so glad when I see your posts. You have suffered a lot of losses in Spring. The winter months with low sun are sometimes hard for me.

  21. Nurse Kelly says:

    So sorry to hear this is a difficult time of year for you, Van… hope talking about it and receiving love and support from everyone in blog land helps you through it. I’m always here for you. xoxo

  22. LauraBelle says:

    For me it is August and October that everything bad seems to have happned. I know every year it is coming and so during the summer I try to cram as much happiness that I can in my life so maybe it doesn’t hit me as hard. It still does. 🙂

    • Hi Laura. It might sound extreme, but I planned my second pregnancy to have the baby arrive in April. It worked for me for a long time. Until it didn’t. Thanks for the kickass comment. ☺

  23. I hope that some of the missing blogger faces are those taking a break to enjoy the return of the good weather and to spend more time outdoors, or to honor the movement in their lives. I do know what you mean about certain times of year being associated with sorrowful events. I have a few holidays that are hard to enjoy with abandon. July 4th is a big one that I never feel like celebrating. That said, I try also to recognize all the wonderful things that are happening because each day only comes once. ❤

  24. megdekorne says:

    I’ve been quiet too dear friend ….your words bring comfort …love , megxxx

  25. Very interesting and I can feel it for sure! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and being so open xx

  26. Those are gorgeous blooms and I did notice a bit that some people are a bit off radar. I hope they pick up soon enough. It can be tough but we’ve got to keep looking up and at the bright side. Lovely post Van.

  27. Hello friend
    Some changing seasons trigger depression, they may not have anyone to grieve, it’s depression just the same. Do you have long bouts of Depression the other months of the year? I have the same trigger with the date of my fathers depth. Not because I loved him, the trauma around his death makes the memory much larger to me. I thick it’s very common, the memories may help those still greiving.
    We march on.
    Hugs
    M

    • No regular depressive bouts, M, not for a long time. I had a bit of seasonal affective, but started getting outside in the winter, taking Vitamin D3…it helped so much. 💖 thanks for your thoughts.

  28. joey says:

    I have noticed it. I actually think it was worse a month ago, that’s when I really noticed the people I read were struggling.
    I always get sick in spring, and I haven’t yet. *knocks wood* In fact, my health has been good all year. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve such a gift, but I am enjoying it.
    All of my grandparents and uncles died in the spring as well. Currently, my father is fighting cancer, so he’ll have to wait at least a year, right?
    I’m sorry your family experiences so much grief in the spring.

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